His Will not mine

I read in the Bible somewhere and it said "the plans of a mans heart are many; but it's the Lord purpose that will prevail.  Boy do I have plans!  I'm so sick of the position I'm in at work.  An auditor!  It's going against everything my heart wants.  I can't tell you how many friends I've lost over this position.  I know your probably saying "well they weren't your friends in the first place".  Yeah they were and really close ones too.  When I have on that hat, it just turns others stomachs and  I have to write up my coworkers as they are called now.  It's wild to see the power of the pen take over attitudes of those I once fellowshipped and had lunch with.  I love people and being rejected because of a title is sickening.  The bad thing is I can understand.  I've been on the other side of that pen and it sucks to be honest.  You would think with the way the economy is right now I would be happy just to have a job.  I am but I'm not.  Is that justifiable?

So recently I have decided to look at my options and put my resume out there.  Where else can Allen go and feel the success of making a difference.  No worries about the money.  God has that under control.  But my heart is not in this position anymore.  My attitude towards my job is lacking.  I perform at 100% but it's hard to go above and beyond anymore.  I try to find pleasure in this but it just isn't happening.  Do you think that's what might be hampering my change of pace? 

My wife is a big supporter of me and she knows where I'm at and you know, she hurts when I'm not happy.  Am I purposely hurting her by not being satisfied where I'm at?  Yes and no!  I don't want to hide my feelings.  Especially with my wife!  But keeping them bottled up is a recipe for disaster.  She tells me to be patient and wait on the Lord and I'm so trying right now.  I just want to bring the best out in me at my place of work and change this world.  I have to do my part so God can do His.  His Will not mine right........